Every Spring

It's so funny how you change as you grow.  When I was little I loved summer, it was my favorite season because I could swim all day, hang out with friends, stay up late and so much more.  Then I went through a phase of loving Fall.  I love pumpkins, they are so cute and fat and I love the beautiful colors that fall produces.  Of course I always loved Winter because I adore cold weather and who doesn't love celebrating Jesus' birthday and all the wonder that it holds.  Lately I've come to adore Spring.  There is something about it, you have cool crisp mornings, birds are chirping and making nests.  The trees start budding and the green grass starts to grow.  My mom loved Spring!  I'm not sure if it was because her birthday is April 22nd or because she loved to plants flowers.  It was probably because of Easter, my mom was a strong christian and loved to learn and teach about God.  

It's so weird how little things like flowers, birds, or butterflies can not only make me smile ear to ear but also make me cry like a big baby.  Spring time makes me happy but it also makes me sad.  I always wonder what my mom would be planting or what she would have picked out for my girls for Easter.  My mom was so creative and I'm sure she would have sewn the most incredible outfits for my girls.  It's thoughts like this that I ponder about all of the time.  The "What would life be like if mom where here?" thoughts.  I was at the grocery store the other day and a sweet grandmother was checking out with her grandson.  I couldn't help but stare at them the entire time with a huge grin on my face.  The woman was probably around 62, a young fun grand mom or Nana as her 3 year old grandson called her.  I watched as he put each item from her basket onto the conveyor belt.  "Nana" was so patient and giggled as he showed me his strong muscles.  I told "Nana" I missed that age and that my girls were almost 9 and 11!  She explained how fun it is to keep him every week and that he is just a pure joy, a very obvious felling I could tell.  Even as I was checking out I still had a huge grin on my face b/c you could tell how happy "Nana" was.  After I put my groceries in the car I must admit I sat in the car and cried for a little bit b/c those are moments that I can only watch others have and I dream that my girls would have had with my mom.  I'm so blessed to have been able to see my mom with my nieces.  She adored spending every moment with them.  When I envision mom with my girls I always imagine my favorite picture of my mom with my oldest niece Taylor.  My mom has on her sassy cute short overalls and has Taylor on her shoulders!  Mom and Dad would do fun stuff with the girls, like every time my sister would come in town my parents and Taylor (Madi too when she was old enough) would wash their car.  Taylor always had so much fun doing that and my mom loved doing it with her.

When I think about my mom I also think about how much I'm like her.  When I was younger people always told me we looked alike.  I never really saw it but the pics below point out how much my mom and I do look alike!  I also see both of my girls in her, especially Mac.  I know I got my creativity from my mom.  When I'm decorating or making something it always makes me so happy b/c I feel like I'm channeling mom's creativity.  A lot of people don't understand why I like to do all the crafty things I do.  Some might even think it's a waste of time but to me it's a way to be close to my mom.  That might not make sense, but it does to me and it makes me happy!  My mom always had to have a drink in her hand, a Big Gulp to be more specific.  If you ask Craig he can attest that I'm the same way.  I love to have a big Diet Coke with me whenever possible.  Another way I'm like my mom is the fact that I'm happiest when I'm with my girls.  My mom loved being together.  She wasn't the kind of mom that liked being with friends more than us.  She loved family time and thoroughly enjoyed being with us.  That's how I am.  I love friends but my favorite time is when I'm with my family.   I love my girls to death!!! 

I can't believe it's been over 11 years since my mom passed away.  In some ways it seems like yesterday and in others it feels like a lifetime.  My mom would have been 65 this year.  I have no doubt that she would have hated the age but rocked it like she was 25!  I miss you mama!!!!!  I love remembering you and seeing you in my girls.  You were not only the best mom ever but you were my best friend.  I hope you are watching over us and smiling, love you so much!!